Being a young widow and dating
I did sweat a little over starting to date after only a couple months. Of course I waited several months to make sure it was more of a serious relationship before I opened up to them.
Not because I didn’t feel ready, but because I was sick with worry over what others might think. A very wise widow once told me, “I fulfilled every marriage vow right until death do us part – can others say the same? I also brought up the general topic of potentially dating and shared with them how I felt several times leading up to the big announcement.
These live in my office closet where I can take them out and look at them whenever I feel the need. I loved them so much it was beyond painful to lock them away in a jewellery box where I’d never see them, never get to enjoy them for what they were – a beautiful gift from my loving husband.
Did you take your wedding rings off before you started dating? It took me months and months to remove them permanently and in the end I opted to have them remade into a custom ring I could wear on my right hand so I’d always have that little piece of who I was before to carry with me as who I am now.
In the end, it took some time and some sexy new bras to get me enjoying it instead of dreading it. This is probably the question every widow will hear some variation of at some point or another.
Having kids can add a whole other dimension to this one and since Craig and I didn’t have any, I can’t speak to that situation directly. To me, this was a part of my life and part of who I was (and still am). For some reason, my boyfriend wasn’t too bothered and months later as things began to get more serious I began to phase some of my late husband’s things out of obvious display, more out of respect for my new boyfriend than anything else.Some widows are comfortable dating as early as a month or two out, others wait years, and some never date again at all.This is a personal choice that each widow must make for herself. I was very up front with them and told them how I felt and what was going on.(Which is not to say that older examples don't exist; see, for example, Dean Wormer's wife in , but her youth left her with her wifely desires still burning hot; she thus turns to the school's handy supply of strapping young men to fill them.Her house, just off the campus, is usually the home to at least one Wild Teen Party a week if not more, and during Prohibition it's all but a speakeasy.
In an era when most colleges and universities were male-only, she was usually the only outlet for a healthy young man's sexual urges short of the nearest brothel, and often far less expensive.